Q: What questions can I ask employee candidates in the interview (not really!)? Okay we know what we would like to ask!

  • Are you lying?
  • Why is there a gap between employments? Were you in jail….or prison?
  • Have you been convicted of a crime?

If “yes” answer the follow up question is: Do you need a separate piece of paper to list them?

  • Do you intend to steal from my company?

If “yes” answer the follow up question is: Will it be more than $5000 or less?

  • Have you murdered anyone in the last 7 years?
  • Are there any undiscovered bodies buried anywhere on your property or under your basement floor?
  • Has your photo or likeness ever been on a Post Office bulletin board?
  • Have you ever appeared in an episode of COPS and not either wearing a uniform or as the Camera Man?
  • Do you have any prison tattoos?
  • Do you restrict the use of illegal narcotics to weekends only or just on trips funded by the money and merchandise you will steal from me?
  • Have you ever left a crime scene before the Police arrived?
  • Do you intend to steal from my customers?
  • Which illegal narcotics do you use on a daily basis?
    • Heroin
    • Cocaine
    • LSD
    • Meth
    • All of the above
  • Have you ever appeared on a sex offender list in ANY country?
  • After answering “yes” to any of these questions do you really think I am going to employ you?

LPSI Customers – If you would like a real list of 100 questions you CAN ask please contact us.